MY LITTLE WOODEN TOOLSHED IN THE GARDEN
(Ted Steels / Geo A Stevens / Charles Wilmott / George Formby 1938)

as recorded by George Formby
December 11th 1938


I get no chance to rest indoors to make me fit for Monday,
So planned a wooden toolshed for a quiet nook on Sunday.
I built it in the garden with a lovely southern view,
It's quite a stately edifice and very useful too!

It's really quite top-hole
For the firewood and the coal
In me little wooden toolshed in the garden.
The dog can stretch his legs
And the hen can lay her eggs
In me little wooden toolshed in the garden.
When my wife starts an argument, at which she's quite a knack,
Begins to smash the home up and the crockery to crack,
I tell her off quite safely for she cannot answer back
In me little wooden toolshed in the garden!

One day I tried my voice,
Where they couldn't hear the noise,
In me little wooden toolshed in the garden.
To croon was my intent,
So to interview I went,
The manager down at the Winter Garden.
I said, "I'm going to be a crooner at the palace soon",
But when he heard me voice he didn't seem to like the tune,
And said, "While you are safe my lad you'd better go and croon
In your little wooden toolshed in the garden!"

One day a book I made,
And the favourite I laid
In me little wooden toolshed in the garden.
Every punter round about
Thought he'd get some dope for nowt,
So they all came and they backed it in the garden.
The horse won in a canter but to pay I hadn't power,
And so my punters found me when they called in 'alf an hour.
Like poor Sir Walter Raleigh locked up in the bloody tower
In me little wooden toolshed in the garden!




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - March 2017)