NATURE'S MADE A BIG MISTAKE
(Worton David / Alf Ellerton)

as recorded by Gus Elen
1911


Nature's made a big mistake when makin' us, I guess,
We ain't got no advantages like animals possess.
For instance, take the bantam cock, compare that bird wi' me,
I can't rule one wife, but he seems to rule for twenty three!
'Is wife keeps 'im by layin' eggs, 'e only crows for food,
D'yer think my wife would keep me if I cock-a-doodle-dood?
A dog's got four legs, I've got two, again now here's the rub,
If I 'ad four legs I'd come 'ome much steadier from the pub!

Nature's made a big mistake;
Take the camel, who 'as always got the 'ump.
Still to drink enough at once to last a week 'e's got the power,
I can only take enough at once to last me 'alf an hour!
If I could do what camels does,
Drink seven days' supply upon the spot,
I'd get loaded up each Saturday and sleep until the next,
If I only had the tank the camel's got!

Nah, the rhinossossus as 'as a skin a -
The rhinossossus as 'as a skin a -
Well 'e 'as a skin about six inches thick,
What a lovely skin to 'ave if someone throws a brick!
'Ave yer seen the glow worm glowin'?  Well, if such light I could show,
When the kiddy cries at night I could get out o' bed and glow!
A fly can walk round upside down, if I could do that, lor!
I'd walk around the ceilin' while the missus scrubs the floor!
A porcupine's a animal you can't sit on, d'yer see?
If I was like 'im, my old gal could never sit on me!

Nature's made a big mistake;
Take the peacock, 'ave you watched 'im spread 'is tail?
Everyone admires a peacock's spreadin' tail, now don't yer see?
If I could do the same as 'im they'd all admire me!
Yes, if I could do what peacocks does,
Grow feathers, why o' course I'd save a lot,
Me wife could pluck the feathers from me tail to trim 'er 'at,
If I'd only got the tail the peacock's got!




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - April 2017)