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NELLIE THE NUDIST QUEEN Stuart Ross / John Sargent 1933 Stuart Ross & John Sargent rec April 15th 1933 Nellie was a city gal, more than nine tenths pure, Till a country guy came riding by on a ten cent trolley tour! His eyes were mean, his heart was black, and this inter-urban tramp Beguiled poor Nell and took her back to his nearby nudist camp! His cohorts looked her over in a picturesque ravine, >From orchestra to balcony and second mezzanine, And then and there elected her to be their nudist queen! Oh, she's so sweet, when she appears, The corn grows eyes instead of ears! Taxi drivers strip their gears For Nellie the nudist queen! Her point of view is rather quaint, She keeps her subjects in restraint; "Though love is blind, the neighbours ain't!", Says Nellie the nudist queen! Among the trees, With birds and bees, She flutters and she flitters. She rambles And she gambols And she totters and she titters! When Nell goes by, all nature thrills, Mountaineers desert theie skills, "There's more than gold in them thar hills!", Says Nellie the nudist queen! Now her overhead expense, to say the least, is very small, She never needs a tailor, there's no laundry bill at all! And her meals are always splendid in her out-of-doors menage; A dinner for a dollar, and of course no cover charge! When you see a nudist wedding, as we did the other day, You can watch the groom's expression as they give the bride away! You can tell by her reaction if the model's old or new; You can always tell the best man at a nudist wedding too! Now, some creditors came calling at a clearing in the hills, And asked to see a statement that would justify her bills. When they viewed her liabilities, the atmosphere was tense, But when she showed her assets, her assets were immense! So we're going back to nature to go native minus clothes, With a great big tin of aspirin and menthol for our nose! Though only God can make a tree, as famous poets tell, If BBC can make a tree, we ought to make our Nell! A blind man came the other day, Threw his pencils right away, Took off his specs and said, "I'll stay With Nellie the nudist queen!". A boy of five came up tio chat, She gave his cheeks a playful pat; The kid cried, "Momma, buy me that, Nellie the nudist queen!". Like ancient Greeks The human freaks About the field go naked. There's good clean fun Out in the sun, That is, if you can take it! Oh, she's a woodland nymph at play, Front and rear she's decorte! She's got class with a capital K! Nellie the nudist queen! (Contributed by Peter Akers - February 2010)


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