PIDDLE, TWIDDLE AND RESOLVE 
(Words & Music by Sherman Edwards) - 1776 


Adams : Dear God! For one solid year they have been sitting there, for one year doing nothing!

I do believe you've laid a curse on North America
A curse that we here now rehearse in Philadelphia
A second flood,
A simple famine
plagues of locusts everywhere
or a cataclysmic earthquake
I'd accept with some despair
but no you send us congress
good God sir was that fair?

I say this with humility in Philadelphia
we're your responsibility in Philadelphia
If you don't want to see us hanging
on some far off British hill
if you don't want the voice of independency 
forever still
then God sir get thee to it!
For congress never will

Chorus:
You see we piddle twiddle and resolve
not one damn thing do we solve
piddle twiddle and resolve
nothing's ever solved
in foul, fetid, fuming, foggy, filthy, Philadelphia.

Congress Man: Someone ought to open up a window

Adams: Oh shut up!

They may sit here for years and years in Philadelphia
These indecisive grenadiers of Philadelphia
They can't decide on what is right or wrong
or what is good or bad
I'm convinced the only purpose
this congress ever had
was to gather here specifically
to drive John Adams mad!

Repeat Chorus

Abigail: John, John, is that you carrying on? John?

Adams: Oh Abigail, Abigail I have such a desire to knock heads together!

Abigail: I know my dearest I know, but that's because you make everything so complicated. 
It's all quite simple really. 

Just tell congress to declare independency
then sign your name get our of there
and hurry home to me.
Our children all have dysentery
little Tom keeps turning blue
little Abby has the measles
and I'm coming down with flu
they say we may get small pox

Adams: Uh, Madam, what else is new?

Abigail, in my last letter I told you that the king has collected twelve thousand 
German Mercenaries to send agains us. I asked you to organize
the ladies to make salt peter for gunpowder. Have you done
as I asked?

Abigail: No John, I have not
Adams: Why have you not?
Abigail: Because you neglected to tell us how salt peter is made.
Adams: By treating sodium nitrate with potassium chloride of course!
Abigail: Oh yes, of course
Adams: Will it be done then?
Abigail: I'm afraid we have a more ugent problem John
Adams: More urgent madame?

Abigail:
There's one thing every woman's missed in Massachusetts bay
Don't smirk at me you egotist pay heed to what I say
We've been from Framingham to Boston and we cannot find a pin
don't you know there is a war on
say the tradesmen with a grin
well we will not make salt peter until you send us pins

Adams: Pins madame? Salt peter.
Abigail: Pins.
Adams: salt peter.
Abigail: Pins.
Adams: Salt peter.
Abigail: pins.
Adams: Salt peter.
Abigail: Pins.
Adams: Peter!
Abigail: Pins!
Adams:Peter!
Abigail:Pins!
Adams: Peter!
Abigail: Pins!
Adams: Peter!
Abigail: Pins!
Adams: Done Madame, done.
Abigail: Done, John, done.