POLKA DOT UNDIES
Dr. Demento 


Well, I went for a drive in my pickup truck.
I picked up my girl, 'cause I wanted to
Show her my gloves, 'cause she had on her mitts,
And I blushed brightly when she showed me her
Perfume that she buys whenever Avon calls,
So I took off my pants, and I showed her my
Polka-dot undies!
My polka-dot undies!

Yeah, my polka-dot undies from Miracle Mart.
I said, "Look, be careful, I think I'm gonna
Turn a sharp corner, and go up on the grass."
She leaned out the window, and I thought I saw her
Pointing to something that flashed by real quick.
She said, "Hey, look at that! It looks just like your
Polka-dot undies!"
Polka-dot undies!

Yeah, my polka-dot undies that I wear back-to-front.
She smiled and she said, "Have you seen my
Brother's new car? The one that he stole?"
Then she asked me to look up her
Whole damn family, and I went into shock
When I found out it was her sister who really liked 
Polka-dot undies!
Polka-dot undies!
Yeah!

(instrumental)

Well, I took her out to dinner, but on one thing she was firm:
She'd swallow almost anything, except for
Stories that her brother didn't like birds,
But hung around leather bars, and liked to eat
Fish and chips, and he still sucked his thumb.
I said, "I don't mind!" And she kissed me on my
Polka-dot undies!
My polka-dot undies!

I kissed her softly, and I said, "I'll tell you what.
Let's roll up the windows, and I'll eat your
Last bar of chocolate - the one that's in the parcel."
She said, "No, no, no", and she called me a
Taxi. And I said, "I beg your pardon!
But get me home real fast before I lose my
Polka-dot undies!"
Polka-dot undies!

The moral of this story, like a jewel it is gleamin'.
But you'll never find it in a glass of warm
Milk or tea, 'cause it will not fit,
And you probably already think I am full of
Vague innuendos and double-meanin' rhymes.
But I'll tell you that obscenity is all in your
Polka-dot undies!
Your polka-dot undies!
Yeah, your edible undies!
Your polka-dot undies!
Yeah!