SECRET SERVICE, THE

from 1962 New York musical "Mr President"
(Irving Berlin  1962)

as recorded by Sandy Stewart
with Mitchell Ayres & his Orchestra
September 30th 1962 New York


The Secret Service makes me nervous,
When I am dating they are waiting to observe us.
When I get ready to hold steady for the kiss you plan, 
The Secret Service makes me nervous and I can't!

They're always spying, no denying,
They're always peeping, gumshoe creeping, private eyeing.
When I'm beginning to give-inning like a maiden aunt,
The Secret Service makes me nervous and I can't!

I've been exposed beyond control,
Just like a goldfish in a bowl!

The President's daughter must drink water,
No drink of scotch, she might do what she hadn't oughter.
When I'm ignited, so excited that I start to pant,
The Secret Service makes me nervous when my lamps are lit
And I say, "This is it!",
The Secret Service makes me nervous and I can't!

The Secret Service makes me nervous,
Those White House dicks get all their kicks when they observe us.
Just as I wind up, make my mind up not to say, "I won't!",
The Secret Service makes me nervous and I don't!

When thinks look rosy they get nosey,
They'll say, "There's Tootsie playing footsie, very cosy!
My pulse goes higher, I'm on fire, shakin' at the knees,
The Secret Service makes me nervous and I freeze!

Whatever I may do or say
Will be reported the next day!

When I'm reported, it's distorted, 
They don't see clearly when I'm merely being courted.
When I'm just necking, simply pecking with a "Cary Grant",
They stand behind me to remind me who and what I am,
When I don't give a - (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!)
Ooooh - the Secret Service makes me nervous and I can't! 




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - June 2017)