SHE KNOWS HER ONIONS
(Jack Yellen / Milton Ager / Lew Pollack)


The Happiness Boys (Billy Jones & Ernest Hare) - 1926 
California Ramblers (vocal: Ed Kirkeby) - 1926 
Jay C. Flippen & His Gang - 1926 
Broadway Bell-Hops - 1926 
Van & Schenck - 1926





As recorded by THE HAPPINESS BOYS, August 1926:


EH: Say, Bill, do you remember Sally Brown, 
that we went to school with?
BJ:  Yes, Ernie, I do
EH: Well, wasn't she a dumb Dora in school. 
Especially in arithmatic.
BJ:  Well, she might'a been dumb at school, 
Ernie, but you should see her subtract now
EH: Subtract, what d'you mean subtract?
BJ:  Well, she takes ten from one and twenty from another one 
Just a girl what knows her onions, Ernie
EH: Hah-hah-hah-hah

EH: Say, Bill, you know on Broadway the other day, 
I met someone you know
BJ:  Peggy Joyce, is she in town?
EH: Don't be a fool, it was Sally Brown
BJ:  Oh, you mean the village queen
EH: Yes, she's in a Zeigfeld show
BJ:  That so?
EH: And she's made quite a name
BJ:  Well, she's just a chorus dame

EH: Yes, and she rides in a limousine
BJ:  Ah, she knows her onions
EH: Well, tell me, please, just what you mean
BJ:  Ah, she knows her onions

EH: 
She's just a farmer's daughter
Brought up in I-O-Way
BJ:  
Her father never taught her
The things she knows today

EH:
You say she knows her onions
I don't quite get your talk
BJ:
I bet she has no bunions (EH: Why?)
She don't get out and walk
BOTH: Aaahhhh!

EH: She's got mink and sable fur
BJ:  And all she gets is forty per
BOTH: She's a girl who knows her onions

EH: 
Well, by gum, that girl was dumb
Back in the village school
BJ:  
She has changed somehow
That girl's well educated now
EH: 
But the teacher said her brain was dead
BJ: 
That teacher was a fool
She's smart, I'm telling you
EH:
Well, I'll give her credit, too

EH: 'Cause she's got diamonds in her ears
BJ:  She knows her groceries
EH: And you oughta see her lavalieres
BJ:  Hah-hah, she knows her vegetables

EH:
This simple country maiden
From fields of new mown hay
BJ:
And you should see her paradin'
Along the Gay White Way

EH:
She stays out after eleven
Right in the city's swirl
BJ:
'Cause she believes that Heaven
Protects the woi-king goi-l
BOTH: Aaahhhh!

EH: She's got lots of stocks and bonds
BJ:  Gentlemen prefer the blondes
BOTH: She's a girl who knows her onions

BOTH:
She's got money in the bank
She knows her onions
No one but herself to thank
She knows her onions

She hates ????? ??????
She don't like college boys
She likes the Sugar Poppas
Who buy expensive toys

She hardly ever dances
With a collegiate sheik
She don't take any chances
She likes 'em old and weak, aaaahhhhhhh!

EH: Never goes on auto dates
BJ:  Without takin' roller skates
BOTH: She's a girl who knows her onions, aaaahhhhhh!


*********************


As recorded by JAY C. FLIPPEN and His Gang 
(Red Nichols, Miff Mole, Jimmy Dorsey, 
Vic Berton, Dick McDonough and Bill Haid), 
New York, September, 1926:



Just been down to New York Town
Said Hezekiah Green
And I bet you can't guess who
I ran into on the Avenue

You know, pal, that ????? gal
Who was the village queen
Well, boys, I'm here to tell
The gal's done doggone well

Yes, she's got this and she's got that
She knows her onions
A Packard car and a ten room flat
She knows her onions

She's just a farmer's daughter
From out in I-O-Way
But father never taught her
The things she knows today

She knows her Spanish Onions
She knows her baby talk
She hasn't any bunions
She don't get out and walk, aahhh
She has mink and sable fur
She's the blonde that men prefer
Oh my, yes, she knows her onions

She's got diamonds in her ears
She knows her onions
And you should see her lavalieres
She knows her onions

She's just a corn fed maiden
From fields of new mown hay
But you should see her paradin'
Along the Gay White Way

She stays out after eleven
Right in the city's whirl
'Cause she believes that Heaven
Protects the working girl, aahhh
She knows when and where to go
When to "yes" and when to "no"
Just a gal that knows her onions

(Instrumental Break)

And she's got great big diamond rings
(She knows her onions)
And she's got lots of other things
(She knows her onions)

She's swell, there's no denyin'
And she lives at the Ritz
She knows a rich Hawaiian
His name is Muscovitch

She never pets or dances
With some young handsome sheik
She don't take any chances
She likes them old and weak, aahhh
Young sheiks have the sex appeal
Old ones pay the checks for meals
She's a gal that knows her onions



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - April 2017)