STUCK ON YOU
(Ray Stevens)


Ray Stevens - 1987




Well, it all started back about a week or two
I bought this Instant Wonder Glue
I'd seen it work on TV and I just had to try me some
Well, when I got home I spilled the stuff 
And I reached for a towel to wipe it up
And that towel stuck to my hand like another thumb

And as if that wasn't trouble enough
Here come Rover chasing Fluff
And that cat jumped up and stuck right to my knee
Well I reached down to hold the dog away
And I touched his ear and that's where my hand stayed
And he lit out a-yelping, dragging the cat and me

Well, running through the house we knocked the bird cage down
And the parakeet got loose and was flying all around
And finally landed and stuck to the top of my head
And I was tryin' to be careful, but I just wasn't able
And we stuckin' to ashtrays, lamps an' tables 
And I was wishin' that I had bought a roll of Duct Tape instead

Well I finally fell exhausted into a chair
And then you came in and found me there with the bird on my head
And my hand on the dog and the cat stuck to my knee
And you said the scene looked heaven sent 
That I looked like a man perfectly content 
A regular St. Francis of Assisi
 
Yeah, and before I could stop you, you laid a big kiss on me 
Now Honey, I'm stuck on you, yes I'm stuck on you
I'm stuck to the dog and stuck to the cat 
And stuck to the parakeet too
Ever since I bought that tube of Instant Wonder Glue 
Everything has stuck on me and now I'm stuck on you

Well I got to thinkin', sittin' there that day
How did they make that stuff anyway
I mean there must be workers stuck all over the factory
I bet there's shoes on the floors and shirts on the walls
And hats on the ceilings up and down the halls
Why, just gettin' this stuff in the tube must be a miracle to see 

Now, if we could ever make it to the phone 
And get the paramedics out to our home 
Maybe they could surgically remove you and the dog and the cat and the parakeet
And as soon as we're all healed up enough 
We're gonna sneak into the plant where they make that stuff
And for revenge we're gonna put Instant Wonder Glue on all their toilet seats.... Hee-Her-Hee-Hee-Hee

Until then I'm stuck on you, yes I'm stuck on you
I'm stuck to the dog and stuck to the cat 
And stuck to the parakeet too
Ever since I bought that tube of Instant Wonder Glue
Everything has stuck on me and now I'm stuck on you

Ohhh, I'm stuck on you, yes I'm stuck on you
I'm stuck to the dog and stuck to the cat 
And stuck to the parakeet too
Ever since I bought that tube of Instant Wonder Glue
Everything has stuck on me and now I'm stuck on you

Oh, Honey I'm stuck...........FADE


(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - February 2009)