TEN PERCENT
Cut from "Chicago" before it opened on Broadway
(John Kander / Fred Ebb)

Harry Groener

Also recorded by: Lee Konitz


Did you know that "Hang up, you worm!"
Well, maybe it's a figure of speech
But it ain't nice, "Hang up, you worm!"
And neither is "Get off me, you leech!"

And last week I heard it said
I was "nothing but a bloodsucker shrimp"
And next week, to look ahead
It's "Tell him I'm not in, he's a pimp!"

Well I find those insults difficult to bear
But I don't let them get the best of me
'Cause way down deep, I honestly don't care
For I am a theatrical agent
I'll stay a theatrical agent
And a theatrical agent's what I'm proud to be

Most people sneer at me but I can pay the rent
As long as I collect my ten percent
Throw your career at me
You've found the perfect goat
As long as I collect my ten percent

The stars are here today and then forgotten
The rocket flares then suddenly it melts
I'd stop to say the system's really rotten
But I'm too busy signing someone else
You gotta live, kid!

No fans will cheer at me
Yet I remain content
As long as I collect my ten percent

Nobody ever sings me no hosanna
I've even heard me called a parasite
They say I got the soul of a piranha
But I ate Lobster Thermidor last night
And what did you have?

I'm not the Spotlight Kid
I'm not the Main Event
And yet I bloom and thrive
I'm happy I'm alive
I live on Lakeshore Drive
On ten percent
Ten Percent!


(Contributed by Droplet99 - October 2005)