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TEN PERCENT Cut from "Chicago" before it opened on Broadway (John Kander / Fred Ebb) Harry Groener Also recorded by: Lee Konitz Did you know that "Hang up, you worm!" Well, maybe it's a figure of speech But it ain't nice, "Hang up, you worm!" And neither is "Get off me, you leech!" And last week I heard it said I was "nothing but a bloodsucker shrimp" And next week, to look ahead It's "Tell him I'm not in, he's a pimp!" Well I find those insults difficult to bear But I don't let them get the best of me 'Cause way down deep, I honestly don't care For I am a theatrical agent I'll stay a theatrical agent And a theatrical agent's what I'm proud to be Most people sneer at me but I can pay the rent As long as I collect my ten percent Throw your career at me You've found the perfect goat As long as I collect my ten percent The stars are here today and then forgotten The rocket flares then suddenly it melts I'd stop to say the system's really rotten But I'm too busy signing someone else You gotta live, kid! No fans will cheer at me Yet I remain content As long as I collect my ten percent Nobody ever sings me no hosanna I've even heard me called a parasite They say I got the soul of a piranha But I ate Lobster Thermidor last night And what did you have? I'm not the Spotlight Kid I'm not the Main Event And yet I bloom and thrive I'm happy I'm alive I live on Lakeshore Drive On ten percent Ten Percent! (Contributed by Droplet99 - October 2005)


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