THE BOWERY
>From the Broadway play "A Trip to Chinatown" (1891) 
(Percy Gaunt / Charles H. Hoyt)




Oh! The night that I struck New York 
I went out for a quiet walk 
Folks who are "on to" the city say 
Better by far that I took Broadway 
But I was out to enjoy the sights 
There was the Bow'ry ablaze with lights 
I had one of the devil's own nights 
I'll never go there any more 


The Bowery! the Bowery! 
They say such things and they do strange things 
On the Bowery! The Bowery! 
I'll never go there any more 


I had walked but a block or two 
When up came a fellow and me he knew 
Then a policeman came walking by 
Chased him away and I asked him, "Why?" 
"Wasn't he pulling your leg?" said he 
Said I, "He never laid hands on me!" 
"Get off the Bow'ry, you yep!" said he 
I'll never go there any more


The Bowery! the Bowery! 
They say such things and they do strange things 
On the Bowery! The Bowery! 
I'll never go there any more 


I went into an auction store 
I never saw any thieves before 
First he sold me a pair of socks 
Then said he, "How much for the box"? 
Someone said,"two dollars," I said "Three" 
He emptied the box and gave it to me 
"I sold you the box, not the socks," said he 
I'll never go there any more


The Bowery! the Bowery! 
They say such things and they do strange things 
On the Bowery! The Bowery! 
I'll never go there any more


I went into a concert hall, 
I didn't have a good time at all 
Just the minute that I sat down 
Girls began singing "New Coon in Town" 
I got up mad and spoke out free 
"Somebody put that man out," said she 
A man called a bouncer attended to me 
I'll never go there anymore


The Bowery! the Bowery! 
They say such things and they do strange things 
On the Bowery! The Bowery! 
I'll never go there any more 


I went into a barber shop 
He talked till I thought he would never stop 
I said, "Cut it short," he misunderstood 
Clipped down my hair just as close as he could 
He shaved with a razor that scratched like a pin 
Took off my whiskers and most of my chin; 
That was the worst scrape I ever got in 
I'll never go there any more


The Bowery! the Bowery! 
They say such things and they do strange things 
On the Bowery! The Bowery! 
I'll never go there any more


I struck a place that they called a "dive" 
I was in luck to get out alive 
When the policeman heard my woes 
Saw my black eyes and my battered nose 
"You've been held up!" said the copper fly! 
"No, sir! But I've been knocked down!" said I 
Then he laughed, tho' I couldn't see why! 
I'll never go there any more


The Bowery! the Bowery! 
They say such things and they do strange things 
On the Bowery! The Bowery! 
I'll never go there any more




(Contributed by Mel - December 2007)