THE MONEY SONG
From the Show "That's The Ticket" - 1948

(Harold Rome)

Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis - 1948
The Modernaires - 1948
Mel Tormé & The Meltones - 1948


If you got it you don't need it
If you need it you don't got it
You don't get shame on you
Funny, funny, funny, what money can do

Them that have it get more of it
Less they need it the more they love it
And it sticks to them like glue
Funny, funny, funny, what money can do

Ask the rich man he'll confess
Money can't buy happiness
Ask the poor man he don't doubt
But he'd rather be miserable with than without

If you spend it please be wiser
If you save it you're a miser
You don't want it you're cuckoo
Funny, funny, funny, what money can do

JERRY LEWIS: La la money
DEAN MARTIN: Oh, shut up Jerry, what are you doing?
JL: I'm singing 
DM: This is singing?
JL: Don't you like it? 
DM: No I don't like it. You want to sing with me?
JL: Can I sing with you? 
DM: Sure you can
JL: All right

DM: If I do not need it badly
JL: Folks will give it to you gladly
DM: But I need it
JL: Nuts to you
DM: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do

DM: If I am lucky and I make it
JL: You'll be frightened
DM: But who can take it
JL: The Internal Revenoooooooo
DM: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do

DM: Birds don't got it, still they sing
JL: Eating winds up on the wing
DM: Ideal lives some folks affirm
JL: So, okay, you're a bird, but suppose you're a worm
DM: It's a bad thing, oh yes very
JL: For the germs and sanitary
DM: Will you have some 
JL: Oh, thank you
BOTH: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do

DM: If I got it
JL: Who's got it?
DM: I don't need it
JL: But I need it
DM: If you need it
JL: And I need it
DM: You don't got it
JL: But I want it
DM: You can't get it, shame on you
JL: What can I do?
BOTH: Funny, funny, funny, what money can do

DM: Them that have it
JL: Where'd they get it?
DM: Get more of it
JL: Can they keep it?
DM: The less they need it
JL: Who don't need it?
DM: The more they love it
JL: And how they love it
DM: And it sticks to them like glue
JL: Boo hoo
BOTH: 
Funny, funny, funny, what money can do
Money, money we love you
Funny, funny, funny, what you can do


*****


THE MONEY SONG
(Harold Rome)

The Andrews Sisters - 1948


Down in Washington DC
Men are workin' busily
In a place they call the mint
They make coins and also print
Very excellent engraving
Which the rest of us keep saving
Dressed if up in black and green
It's the darndest stuff you've ever seen

If you got it, you don't need it
If you need it, you don't got it
You don't get it, shame on you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Them that have it get more of it
Less they need it, more they love it
And it sticks to them like glue
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Ask the rich man, he'll confess
Money can't buy happiness
Ask the poor man, he don't doubt
That he'd rather be mis'rable with than without

If you spend it, please be wiser
If you save it, you're a miser
You don't wan' it, you're cuckoo
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

La-la-la-lu-lu, a nickel or a dime or penny
La-la-la-lu-lu, is better than not havin' any
La-la-la-lu-lu, a half a dollar or a quarter
La-la-la-lu-lu, makes people do a lot of things they hadn't ever
oughta do

If you're lucky and you make it
You're so frightened who might take it
Stomach troubles come to you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

If you got it, you got trouble
If you haven't, trouble's double
If you grab it, jail for you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Birds don't got it, still they sing
Eating worms upon the wing
Ideal life some folks affirm
So OK you're a bird but suppose you're a worm

It's a bad thing, oh yes, very
Full of germs, unsanitary
Will we have some, oh thank you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Funny, funny, funny what money can do


(Transcribed by Bill Huntley - January 2005)