THE OLD DOPE PEDDLER
Tom Lehrer


You are no doubt familiar with songs about the old lamplighter 
and the old umbrella man and the old garbage collector and all 
these lovable old characters who go around spreading sweetness 
and light to their respective communities. But, it's always seemed 
to me that there is one member of this happy band who does an equally 
splendid job, but who has never been properly recognized in song or story, 
and this is an attempt to remedy, at least in part, that deplorable situation. 


When the shades of night are falling,
Comes a fellow everyone knows.
It's the old dope peddler,
Spreading joy wherever he goes.

Every evening you will find him,
Around our neighborhood.
It's the old dope peddler
Doing well by doing good.

He gives the kids free samples,
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele.

Here's a cure for all your troubles,
Here's an end to all distress.
It's the old dope peddler
With his powdered happiness.



(Contributed by Paul Molloy - September 2002)