THE PARSON OF PUDDLE
(Greatrex 'Rex' Newman)
Stanley Holloway (Monologue) - 1938


In the sweet little, neat little, 
Only one street little 
Parish of Puddle 
O’er which I preside. 
There dwells a young lady 
whose name is O’Grady 
prefixed by the Christian names Caroline Sady, 
And rumour has stated, 
The facts circulated, 
That she is as thin as a lath, 
And I’m bound to admit 
That she is every bit, 
For I saw her today in her bath... 
chair and noticed the fact plain to see. 
O lack a day, O lack a day, O lack a day me. 

In the high little, 
Spry little, feel rather dry little 
Parish of Puddle 
O’er which I preside, 
We had a school outing 
With races and shouting, 
For little girl guides and little boys scouting 
And when all the teachers 
Were cooling their features 
With something that fizzed in a glass 
One said “Don’t you think 
You’d like something to drink” 
I said “Yes, I should like a small Bass...
-ket of strawberries 
With cream and some tea

In the bright little, 
Tight little, stay out all night little, 
Parish of Puddle 
O’er which I preside,
It fell to my duty
To wed a stage beauty
To one of the Air Forces second leftooty
In every relation
Showed great jubilation
When just as a twelve month had run
One fine Wednesday night 
With the greatest delight
She presented her spouse with a son...
Day school hymn book
That cost One and three.

In the blank little, 
swank little, two pubs and bank little
Parish of Puddle 
o'er which I preside 
A spinster named Mary 
Once opened a dairy 
And as new laid eggs, seemed to be necessary, 
She purchased some hens 
In most beautiful pens, 
But when egg collecting she went,
She found with dismay 
That those birds could not lay 
For each of those fowls was a gentle... 
and shy little rooster you see. 
O lack a day, O lack a day, O lack a day me.