THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS (Soundtrack)
Songs featured in the film "There's No Business Like Show Business" (1954)
Starring Ethel Merman, Donald O'Connor, Marilyn Monroe, Dan Dailey, Mitzi Gaynor & Johnny Ray
All songs written by Irving Berlin
WHEN THE MIDNIGHT CHOO CHOO LEAVES FOR ALABAM
Performed by Ethel Merman & Dan Dailey
Reprised by Mitzi Gaynor & Donald O'Connor
When the midnight choo choo leaves for Alabam'
I'll be right there, I've got my fair
When I see that rusty haired conductor man
I'll grab him by the collar and I'll holler "Alabam'! Alabam'!"
That's where you stop your train, that brings me back again
Down home where I'll remain, where my honey lamb am
I will be right there with bells, when that old conductor yells
"All aboard! All aboard! All aboard for Alabam!"
**********
LET'S HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE
Performed by Ethel Merman
Just around the corner
There's a rainbow in the sky
So let's have another cup of coffee
And let's have another piece of pie
Trouble's like a bubble
And the clouds will soon roll by
So let's have another cup of coffee
And let's have another piece of pie
**********
PLAY A SIMPLE MELODY
Performed by Ethel Merman & Dan Dailey
Won't you play some simple melody
Like my mother sang to me
One with a good old-fashioned harmony
Play some simple melody
Musical demon, set your honey a-dreaming, won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag to some sweet beautiful drag
If you will play from a copy of a tune that is choppy you'll get all my applause
And that is simply because I want to listen to rag
Won't you play some simple melody (Musical demon, set your honey a-dreaming, won't you play me some rag)
Like my mother sang to me (Just change that classical nag to some sweet beautiful drag)
One with a good old-fashioned harmony (If you will play from a copy of a tune that is choppy, you'll get all my applause)
Play some simple melody (And that is simply because I want to listen to rag)
**********
A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY
Performed by Ethel Merman
A pretty girl is like a melody
That haunts you night and day
Just like the strain of a haunting refrain
She'll start up on a marathon
And run a-round your brain
You can't escape, she's in your memory
Bby morning night and noon
She will leave you and then
Come back again
A pretty girl is just like a pretty tune
**********
ALEXANDER'S RAGTIME BAND
Performed by Ethel Merman, Dan Dailey, Donald O'Connor, Mitzi Gaynor & Johnny Ray
Come on and hear, come on and hear Alexander's Ragtime Band
Come on and hear, come on and hear 'bout the best band in the land
They can play a bugle call like you never heard before
So natural that you want to go to war
That's just the bestest band what am, oh Honey Lamb
Come on along, come on along, let me take you by the hand
Up to the man, up to the man who's the leader of the band
And if you care to hear the Swanee River played in ragtime
Come on and hear, come on and hear Alexander's Ragtime Band
**********
YOU'D BE SURPRISED
Performed by Marilyn Monroe
Johnny was bashful and shy, nobody understood why
Mary loved him, all the other girls passed him by
Every one wanted to know how she could pick such a beau
With a twinkle in her eye, she made this reply
He's not so good in a crowd, but when you get him alone
You'd be surprised
He isn't much at a dance, but then when he takes you home
You'd be surprised
He doesn't look like much of a lover, but don't judge a book by it's cover
He's got the face of an Angel, but there's a Devil in his eyes
He's such a delicate thing but when he starts in to squeeze
You'd be surprised
He doesn't look very strong but when you sit on his knee
You'd be surprised
At a party or at a ball I've got to admit he's nothing at all, but in a Morris chair
You'd be surprised.
Mary continued to praise Johnny's remarkable ways
To the ladies, and you know advertising pays
Now Johnny's never alone, he has the busiest phone
Almost every other day a new girl will say
He's not so good in the house, but on a bench in the park
You'd be surprised
He isn't much in the light, but when he gets in the dark
You'd be surprised
I know he looks as slow as the Erie, but you don't know the half of it dearie
He looks as cold as an Eskimo, but there's fire in his eyes
He doesn't say very much, but when he starts in to speak
You'd be surprised
He's not so good at the start, but at the end of a week
You'd be surprised
On a streetcar or in a train, you'd think he was born without any brain
But in a taxi cab, and when he starts to grab, I say in a taxi cab
You'd be surprised. This one's a real danger!
**********
AFTER YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU DON'T WANT IT
Performed by Donald O'Connor & Marilyn Monroe
Listen to me, honey dear, something's wrong with you I fear
It's getting harder to please you, harder and harder each year
I don't want to make you blue, but you need a talking to
Like a lot of people I know, here's what's wrong with you
After you get what you want, you don't want it
If I gave you the moon, you'd grow tired of it soon
You're like a baby, you want what you want when you want it
But after you are presented with what you want, you're discontented
You're always wishing and wanting for something
When you get what you want, you don't want what you get
And tho' I sit upon your knee, you'll grow tired of me
'Cause after you get what you want, you don't want what you wanted at all
Don't you say that I'm unkind , think it over and you'll find
You've got a changeable nature, you're always changing your mind
There's a longing in your eye that is hard to satisfy
You're unhappy most of the time, here's the reason why
After you get what you want, you don't want it
If I gave you the moon, you'd grow tired of it soon
You're like a baby, you want what you want when you want it
But after you are presented with what you want, you're discontented
You're always wishing and wanting for something
When you get what you want, you don't want what you get
And tho' I sit upon your knee, you'll grow tired of me
'Cause after you get what you want, you don't want what you wanted at all
**********
IF YOU BELIEVE
Performed by Johnny Ray
Brothers And sisters
Listen You non-believers, listen, you better start to believe
All you doubters, be "hallelujah shouters", or else you're going to grieve
There's no time to wait, you may be too late, so listen
You don't know what you're missin' until you start to believe
If you believe that there's a heaven
You'll get to heaven, if you believe
If you believe that there are angels
You'll see the angels, if you believe
I'm not making promises to the doubting Thomases
But if you believe the Lord can help you
The Lord will help you, if you believe
(We do, we do, we do)
Do you believe?
(We do, we do, we do)
Do you believe?
(We do, we do, we do)
Well, Jonah went out one night in a gale
Do you believe that?
(We do, we do, we do)
Soon, he was swallowed up by a whale
Do you believe that?
(We do, we do, we do)
Daniel lay down with lions that roared
Noah was on his ark when it poured
Moses looked up and he spoke to the Lord
Do you believe that? Do you believe that?
(We do, we do, we do)
**********
(WE'RE HAVING A) HEATWAVE
Performed by Marilyn Monroe
Oh! We're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave
The temperature's rising, it isn't surprising
She certainly can can-can
She started a heatwave by letting her seat wave
In such a way that the customers say
That she certainly can can-can
Gee, gee! Her anatomy makes the mercury rise to 93!
Having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave, the way that she moves
That thermometer proves that she certainly can.....
(What's your name honey? Pablo) Certainly can....
(Chico, Miguelito, Pablo, Chico, Miguelito).....oh, can-can
Pablo, it's saying here in the weather report
It's saying a fairly warm air is moving in from..
(Where?) Jamaica
Moderately high air pressure will cover the NE and..
(Where else?) The Deep South
Small danger of (what?) Fruit frost!
Hot and humid nights can be expected
Vincent 95, Guadeloupe 97, Santo Domingo 99. Pardon me? 105?
We're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave
The temperature's rising, it isn't surprising
I certainly can can-can
I started this heatwave in such a way
That the customers say that I certainly can can-can
The man who need makes the mercury rise to 93
We're having a heatwave, a tropical, a tropical heatwave
The way that I move, that thermometer grooves
(She certainly, certainly, certainly can}
I certainly, certainly, certainly can can-can
**********
A MAN CHASES A GIRL (UNTIL SHE CATCHES HIM)
Performed by Donald O'Connor & Marilyn Monroe
A man chases a girl until she catches him
He runs after a girl until he's caught
He fishes for a girl until she's landed him
It all comes out exactly the way she thought
Uncertain, he tags along behind
Uncertain, till she makes up his mind
A man chases a girl until she catches him
But don't run too fast while you are saying "No"
And once you've caught him don't ever let him go
**********
LAZY
Performed by Donald O'Connor, Marilyn Monroe & Mitzi Gaynor
Every time I see a puppy
On a summers day
A puppy dog at play
My heart is filled with envy
That's why I'm in such a hurry
To pass the time away
Like the pup, I'm all fed up, and
Though it's wrong to be, I long to be
Lazy, I wanna be lazy
I'm longing to lay in the sun with no work to be done
Under that awning they call the sky
Stretching and yawning and let the world go drifting by
I wanna peep through the deep tangled wildwood
Counting sheep 'til I sleep like a child would
With a great big valise full of books to read where it's peaceful
While I'm killing time, being lazy
Lazy, I wanna be lazy
I'm longing to lay in the sun with no work to be done
Under that awning they call the sky
Stretching and yawning and let the world go drifting by
I wanna peep through the deep tangled wildwood
Counting sheep 'til I sleep like a child would
With a great big valise full of books to read where it's peaceful
While I'm killing time, being lazy
While I'm killing time, being lazy
**********
A SAILOR'S NOT A SAILOR ('TIL A SAILOR'S BEEN TATTOOED)
Performed by Ethel Merman & Mitzi Gaynor
**********
THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
Performed by Ethel Merman
Reprised by the Merman, O'Connor, Monroe, Ray, Gaynor & Dailey
The costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props
The audience that lifts you when you're down
The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops
The sheriff who escorts you out of town
The opening when your heart beats like a drum
The closing when the customers won't come
There's no business like show business
Like no business I know
Everything about it is appealing
Everything the traffic will allow
No where could you have that happy feeling
When you are stealing that extra bow
There's no people like show people
They smile when they are low
Yesterday they told you you would not go far
That night you opened and there you are
Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star
Let's go on with the show
There's no business like show business
If you tell me it's so
Traveling through the country is so thrilling
Standing out in front on opening nights
Smiling as you watch the benches filling
And see your billing up there in lights
There's no people like show people
They smile when they are low
Even with a turkey that you know will fold
You may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't trade it for a sack o' gold
Let's go on with the show
Let's go on with the show!
**********
ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER
(Recorded and filmed for, but cut from the final print of the film)
Performed by Ethel Merman, Dan Dailey, Mitzi Gaynor & Donald O'Connor
Anything you can do, I can do better
I can do anything better than you
No, you can't
Yes, I can
No, you can't
Yes, I can
No, you can't
Yes, I can, Yes, I can!
Anything you can be, I can be greater
Sooner or later I'm greater than you
No, you're not
Yes, I am.
No, you're not
Yes, I am.
No, you're NOT!
Yes, I am, Yes, I am!
I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge
I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow
I can live on bread and cheese
And only on that?
Yes!
So can a rat!
Any note you can reach, I can go higher
I can sing anything higher than you
No, you can't (High)
Yes, I can (Higher)
No, you can't (Higher)
Yes, I can (Higher)
No, you can't (Higher)
Yes, I can (Higher)
No, you can't (Higher)
Yes, I can (Higher)
No, you can't (Higher)
Yes, I CAN! (Highest)
Anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper
I can buy anything cheaper than you
Fifty cents?
Forty cents!
Thirty cents?
Twenty cents!
No, you can't!
Yes, I can, Yes, I can!
Anything you can say, I can say softer
I can say anything softer than you
No, you can't (Softly)
Yes, I can (Softer)
No, you can't (Softer)
Yes, I can (Softer)
No, you can't (Softer)
Yes, I can (Softer)
YES, I CAN! (Full volume)
I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker
I can drink it quicker and get even sicker
I can open any safe
Without bein' caught?
Sure
That's what I thought....you crook!
Any note you can hold, I can hold longer
I can hold any note longer than you
No, you can't
Yes, I can
No, you can't
Yes, I can
No, you can't
Yes, I can
Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
No, you C-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-N'T-
CA-A-A-A-N! (Cough, cough!)
Yes, you ca-a-a-an!
Anything you can wear, I can wear better
In what you wear I'd look better than you
In my coat?
In your vest!
In my shoes?
In your hat!
No, you can't!
Yes, I can, Yes, I CAN!
Anything you say, I can say faster
I can say anything faster than you
No, you can't (Fast)
Yes, I can (Faster)
No, you can't (Faster)
Yes, I can (Faster)
No you can't (Faster)
Yes I can! (Fastest)
I can jump a hurdle
I can wear a girdle
I can knit a sweater
I can fill it better
I can do most anything
Can you bake a pie?
No
Neither can I
Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter
I can sing anything sweeter than you
No, you can't (Sweetly)
Yes, I can (Sweeter)
No, you can't (Sweeter)
Yes, I can (Sweeter)
No, you can't (Sweeter)
Yes, I can (Sweeter)
No, you can't, can't, can't (sweeter)
Yes, I can, can, can (Sugary)
Yes, I can!
No, you can't!
**********
(Contributed by Mel Priddle - October 2007)
