THERE'S NO ONE WITH ENDURANCE (LIKE THE MAN WHO SELLS INSURANCE)
(Frank Crumit / Burt Curtis)

Frank Crumit - 1935


I used to be as happy as a squirrel in a tree
Till a man who sold insurance made a nervous wreck of me
He followed me persistently and if I'm put away
That bird who sold insurance made me what I am today

CHORUS
For there's no one with endurance
Like the man who sells insurance
He's everybody's best friend
He will follow you and fret you
But remember he will get you
For he gets us all in the end

In spite of every way I tried to leave him in the lurch
He chased me in the subway and he followed me to church
I even spent a night in jail in my desire to hide
But in the morning George Insurance was waiting just outside

CHORUS
For there's no one with endurance
Like the man who sells insurance
He's everybody's best friend
He'll be sweeter than molasses
But when he puts on his glasses
He gets us all in the end

One day at Coney Island when I went in for a swim
A man swam up beside me who was no-on else but him
Said he to me "I'm glad to see you love the ocean wave
But our 20-year endowment is the only way to save"

CHORUS
For there's no one with endurance
Like the man who sells insurance
He's everybody's best friend
He's always bright and snappy
And no wonder that he's happy
For he gets us all in the end

One day I saw him coming so I quickly climbed a tree
But George Insurance saw me too and climbed up after me
Said he to me up in the tree: "I'm fond of nature too
But our 20-year endowment is the policy for you"

CHORUS
For there's no one with endurance
Like the man who sells insurance
He's everybody's best friend
And the harder that you make it
Believe me he can take it
For he gets us all in the end