THE SEWERS OF THE STRAND
(Milligan)
Spike Milligan - 1961 


Phew! Yes folks, I can understand their feelings because they are 
about to play: 

Sideways through the sewers of the Strand on a Sunday afternoon 
Sideways through the sewers of the Strand will be our honeymoon 

Ankle deep folks in sludge dear we'll walk hand in hand 
They do say that the sewers of the Strand are the finest in the land 

Sideways through the sewers of the Strand will be paradise for two 
Who cares if the atmosphere is blue 

'Cause there's nothing wrong with a good old British pong 
Sideways through the sewers of the Strand with you.... 

Ah my darling little bride. 
We meet by accident, folks -- she ran over me with a tram 

Her name was Buler, mine was Jim. 
I was glad they called me Jim, folks, because that was my name 

I found that she had been going out with an Irish dentist called Phil 
McCavity 

He walked with a pronounced limp -- l-i-m-p pronounced limp, folks 

Oh the worry turned me grey. 

This gave me a strange appearance as I was bald at the time. 

Ah, the first time I met her was late early one morning in Spring. 

There was a heavy dew on the grass -- he had just been thrown out of 
a synagogue for eating during the sermon 

I told her 'Darling, let me take you away from the squalor you live 
in, and live in the squalor I live in' 

So, we were married in the Spring, folks 

We had the reception in the pond 

There was plenty to drink folks 

And then off we went! Folks! 

Sideways through those naughty sewers of the naughty 

Strand will be a paradise for two (not one but two, folks) 

Who cares if the atmosphere is blue (phew!) 

'Cause there's nothing wrong (is there) with a good old old British 
PONG! 

Sideways through the sewers of the Strand with you 

I don't mean maybe.

(some chattering - Fade)