THE STORK CLUB (Soundtrack)



Songs from the film "The Stork Club" (1945)
Starring Betty Hutton, Barry Fitzgerald and Andy Russell









DOCTOR, LAWYER, INDIAN CHIEF
Music by Hoagy Carmichael / Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster
Performed by Betty Hutton


There's a doctor livin' in your town
There's a lawyer and an Indian, too
Neither doctor, lawyer nor Injun chief
Could love you any more than I do

There's a barrel of fish in the ocean
There's a lot of little birds in the blue
And 'Neither fish nor fowl" says the wise old owl
Could love you any more than I do

No! No! No! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
I'm gonna warn all the dead-eyed dicks
That you're the chick with the slickest tricks
And every tick of my ticker ticks for you, follow through

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face

'Cause you know! know! know!, it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do

(No! No! No! it couldn't be true)
(That anyone else could love you like I do)
And, confidentially, I confess
I sent a note to the local press
That I'll be changin' my home address for you, follow through

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face

'Cause you know! know! know!, it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do

No! No! No! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
I'm gonna send a hot communeek
To warn the boys down at Cripple Creek
That every dimple on your dimpled cheek is mine, so to speak

Tell the (Doc!) to stick to his practice
Tell the (Lawyer!) to settle his case
Send the (Injun chief!) and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face (woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo)

'Cause you know! know! know! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
(Like I do)
(Like I do)
(Like I do)
LIKE I DO!



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I'M A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE
Music and lyrics by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans
Performed by Betty Hutton


When I was young I found it grim
To gurgle in the social swim
The dos and don'ts, the lah-di-dahs
To me were just a lot of BLAH!
I used my silver spoon at birth
For throwing meatballs at my nurse
I always chose to thumb my nose
At smarty clothes and party pose
I ditched the rich and sable set
To join the kitchen table set....

I use the wrong fork at the Stork in New York
My manners ain't fit for a goof
I'm just a square in the social circle
Who put that fly in my soup?

I'd rather go out with a lout to a bout
Than sleep in a symphony hall
I'm just a square in the social circle
Who knocked my gum off that wall?

When the orderly order flows like butter
I want to start pitchin' a curve
With a silly old blighter on a first nighter
I feel like a pickled hors d'ouvres, no verve

I never felt gay in a fancy beret
I wear babooshka or burst
I'm just a square in the social circle
Finger bowls hurt me the worst
They just don't quench my thirst!

Mrs. Vanderhorst will greet me with a fourteen carat shout
"My Dear, you've simply got to come to my daughter's coming out"
Her daughter is a Frankenstein, a Dracula in mink
When she comes out, each stag will shout "Gadzooks, I need a drink"
I've dined in clubs, I've elbow rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne
Phoo to you, bud, take your blue blood and stick it in your fountain pen!

I wanna brush all the plush and the gush
I'd rather get left than be right
I'm just a square in the social circle
Anyone here want a fight?

None of me fits with the wits at the Ritz
I'd rather relax on a stool
I'm just a square in the social circle
Anyone wanna shoot pool?

When the cookie with cabbage gets too savage
Wrastle him three out of four
I would rather a sailor hop in my trailer
And show me his nautical lore, why sure

The ladies in frills only fill me with chills
They're soft as a ball of chenille
I'm just a square in the social circle
I got a muscle of steel
Anyone here want to feel?

I'm as square as a pair in a bootaneer
Fancy silk won't stay on
I'm designed for rayon
But I just don't seem to care
I'm a square!



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IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE
Music by Egbert Van Alstyne / Lyrics by Harry Williams (1905)
Performed by Betty Hutton


In the shade of the old apple tree
Where the love in your eyes I could see
When the voice that I heard, like the song of the bird
Seemed to whisper sweet music to me

I could hear the dull buzz of the bee
In the shadows as you said to me
With a heart that is true, I'll be waiting for you
In the shade of the old apple tree



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IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS
Music by Harry Revel / Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster
Performed by Betty Hutton and Andy Russell


If I had a dozen hearts (ANDY: I love you)
And if you had only one
If I had a dozen hearts (ANDY: Yes, I do)
I would love you twelve times one (ANDY: I do)

If I had a dozen lips
(ANDY: Don't know what I'd do without you)
I would say twelve times a day
(ANDY: You must know)
BOTH: Darling, I love you

If I had a dozen arms (ANDY: More ev'ry day)
They would all be holding you
If I had a dozen dreams (ANDY: In ev'ry way)
In your arms they would all come true

Although I know a dozen hearts are fun, I've found
(ANDY: Believe me, Darling, I love you)
I couldn't love you much more than I do with one

Twelve times one
(ANDY: Believe me)
BOTH: I love you



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LOVE ME
Music by Jule Styne / Lyrics by Sammy Cahn
Performed by Andy Russell


Love me as only you can love me
There's no one who can love me
The way that you do

Your kiss is as gentle as the falling Summer rain
Your sigh is the sentimental theme of our refrain

I want you to thrill me as only you can thrill me
There's no one who can thrill me
What am I to do

I'm helpless, so I'm content 
To be the fool that you make of me
So, love me the way that I love you

Thrill me as only you can thrill me
There's no one who can thrill me
What am I to do

I'm helpless, so I'm content 
To be the fool that you make of me
So, love me the way that I love you



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IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS (REPRISE)
Music by Harry Revel / Lyrics by Paul Francis Webster
Performed by Betty Hutton


If I had a dozen hearts
And if you had only one
If I had a dozen hearts
I would love you twelve times one

If I had a dozen lips
I would say twelve times a day
Darling, I love you

If I had a dozen arms
They would all be holding you
If I had a dozen dreams
In your arms they would all come true

Although I know a dozen hearts are fun, I've found
I couldn't love you much more than I do with one



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All songs transcribed and/or verified by Mel Priddle - Nov 2008)


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(Contributed by  - November 2008)