THE STREAK
(Stevens)
Ray Stevens - 1974


The Streak
Hello everybody, this is your action news reporter
With all the news that is news across the nation
On the scene at the super market
There seems to have been some disturbance here
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was standing over there by the tomatoes
And here he come
Running thru the pole beans, thru the fruits and vegetables
Naked as a jay-bird
And I hollered over at Ethel...I said don't look Ethel
It was too late, she'd already been incensed... 

Here he comes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
There he goes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
And he ain't wearin' no clothes 
Oh yes, they call him the streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He's gonna give us a peek
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to show off his physique
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique...

This is your action news reporter once again
And we're here at the gas station
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was just in here gettin' my tires checked
And he just appeared out of the traffic
Come streakin' around the grease rack there
Didn't have nothing on but a smile
I looked in there and Ethel was gettin' her a cold drink
I hollered...Don't look Ethel
It was too late...She'd already been mooned
Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers

He ain't rude, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He ain't lewd, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He's just in the mood to run in the nude
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to turn the other cheek
He's always making the news
Wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique...

Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym
Covering the disturbance at the basketball playoffs
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...half-time, I was just going down there
To get Ethel a snow cone
Here he come right our of the cheap seats
Dribblin'...right down the middle of the court
Didn't have on nothin' but his PF's
Made a hook shot and got out thru the concession stand
I hollered up at Ethel, I said don't look Ethel
It was too late...She'd already got a free shot
Grandstanded...Right there in front of the home team

Here he comes...look...who's that with him?
Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
What do you think you're doing?
You get your clothes on!

Ethel, where you going?
Ethel, you shameless hussy
Say it isn't so Ethel
Ethel..................