THE THING-UMMY-BOB (That's Gonna Win The War)
(written by Thompson / Heneker, 1942)

Arthur Askey
Gracie Fields


Spoken: You've heard of Florence Nightingale, Grace Darling and the rest,
You've all seen Greta Garbo and her busom friend, Mae West,
But there's a little lady, I want you all to meet
She's working on munitions and she lives just down the street.

She can't pretend to be, a great celebrity
But still... she's most important in her way,
The job she has to do, may not seem like much to you
But all the same, I'm very proud to say...

Sung: She's the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the spring that drives the rod that turns the knob
that works the thing-ummy-bob.
She's the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that takes the shank that moves the crank
that works the thing-ummy-bob.

It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob
Especially when you don't know what it's for
But it's the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the spring that works the thing-ummy-bob
that makes the engines roar.
And it's the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that works the thing-ummy-bob
that's going to win the war.

Spoken: She's not what you would call, a heroine, at all
I don't suppose you'll even know her name
And though she'll never boast, of her important post
She strikes a blow for Britain just the same.

Sung: She's the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the spring that drives the rod that turns the knob
that works the thing-ummy-bob.
She's the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that takes the shank that moves the crank
that works the thing-ummy-bob.

It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob
Especially when you don't know what it's for
But it's the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the spring that works the thing-ummy-bob
that makes the engines roar.
And it's the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that works the thing-ummy-bob
that's going to win the war.

" I THANK YOU "


*****


Variation as recorded by Gracie Fields:


Spoken: "I can't pretend to be a great celebrity
But still, I'm quite important in me way,
The job I have to do may not sound much to you
But all the same, I'm very proud to say....."

I'm the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the ring that drives the rod that turns the knob
that works the thing-ummy-bob
I'm the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that takes the shank that moves the crank
that works the thing-ummy-bob.

It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob
Especially when you don't know what it's for
But it's the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the ring that makes the thing-ummy-bob
that makes the engines roar
And it's the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that makes the thing-ummy-bob
that's going to win the war

Spoken: "I'm not what you would call a heroine, at all
I don't suppose you'd even know me name
But though I'll never boast, of my important post
I'll strike a blow for freedom just the same"

(Music)
That works the thing-ummy-bob
(Music)
That works the thing-ummy-bob

It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob
Especially when you don't know what it's for
But it's the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole
that holds the ring that makes the thing-ummy-bob
that makes the engines roar.
And it's the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil
that oils the ring that makes the thing-ummy-bob
that's going to win the war.

"I'tis an' all"


(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2004)