THEY CAN'T FOOL ME
(Harry Gifford / Fred E Cliffe / George Formby)

as recorded by George Formby
July 17th 1938


Now I've a simple nature,
Some folk think I'm dense.
They think I'm slow,
But I can show
I've got common sense!

We come from monkeys, yes alas,
Some say we've reached a lower class,
But each time I look in the glass,
They can't fool me!

At hunt the button fun I get,
Some girls are very cute and yet,
I find it every time, you bet,
They can't fool me!

I'm no wise guy,
Still I get along,
I may not know my left from right,
But I do know right from wrong!

Two old maids said in our flat,
"Since last night there's been a rat!"
I said, "Give him his coat and hat!"
Oh, you can't fool me!

My pal puts violet in his bath,
Vi-o-let, that makes me laugh!
I've found where Violet lives, not half!
You can't fool me!

She giggles when he hugs her tight,
When she's kissed she laughs outright,
She had convulsions late last night,
They can't fool me!

I'm no wise guy,
Still I get along,
I may not know my left from right,
But I do know right from wrong!

There's a baby born, they say
Every clock tick, that's okay!
I bought a sundial yesterday,
They can't fool me!

I've bought a house, the terms are fine,
Weekly payments three and nine.
In a hundred years the house is mine,
Oh, they can't fool me!

Every night, a girl named Joyce
Walks for miles, but not for choice.
She rides home in a swell Rolls Royce,
Oh, they can't fool me!

I'm no wise guy,
Still I get along,
I may not know my left from right,
But I do know right from wrong!

To France, a honeymoonin' pair
Went to see what it's like there.,
But it's no different anywhere,
Oh, you can't fool me!




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - July 2017)