THEY HELD ME DOWN
(Silverstein)
Shel Silverstein - 1978


INTRO: "This next song is dedicated to all the cop-outs in the world. 
My friends mostly.........including me."

It was Sat night at the slammer
The gavel was falling like a hammer
As they dragged in every freak
From off the road
One by one they entered the cell
And the stories that they had to tell
Were all different 
But all seemed to end on the very same note

"They held me down and they put it on my nose
They even sprinkled a little bit on my clothes
Yeah… I know what you're thinkin
But I ain't one of those
No… they held me down and put it in my nose."

This wino in the corner got up and shook himself out….
He said, 
"Well they held me down and poured it down my throat
That's what they did.
They even planted the bottle in my coat
Anybody want some?
Yeah… the reason why my pants so wet 
Is they pushed me off the boat
After they held me down and poured it down my throat."

And this chick in the next cell…
She said,
"I heard you guys talking
And let me tell you something…
He held me down and he put it you know where
Ohhhh… I told him I was a virgin
But he didn't care
Noooo… the pig!
Ahhhh… you see his wallet's in my purse.
What's it doing there?
He held me down and put it you know where."

And then this cat got up.
Well… he half got up.
He lifted his head and, 
He said,
"Hey, man… hey held me down and they put it in my vein.
They even held a pistol to my brain
Or I wouldn'ta done it
Ohhh.. these scars on my arms are where I crashed through the window 
pane…
Tryin' to get awaaaaaaaaay
When they held me down and put it in my vein."

And then this cat.. a rollie-eyed cat in a raincoat, and shoes 
And the bottom of his pants were cut off at the knees
He said,
"She held me down and put it in my face.
Oh, the disgrace.
And that's the fact on which I'm gonna base my case.
She was overweight and underage.
And we was at my place.
But she held me down and put it in my face."

They held me down and made me write this song..........