THEY'RE EITHER TOO YOUNG OR TOO OLD
From the film "Thank Your Lucky Stars" (1943)
(Lyrics: Frank Loesser / Music: Arthur Schwartz)
Bette Davis (Film Soundtrack) - 1943
Jimmy Dorsey & His Orch. (vocal: Kitty Kallen) - 1943
Hildegarde - 1944
Joan Edwards - 1944
Jane Froman (feat. in the film "With A Song In My Heart") - 1952
Margaret Whiting - 1977
Rosemary Clooney - 1990
Andrea Marcovicci - 1990
K.T. Sullivan - 2001
Valerie Lemon - 2006
You rushed away and left this house as empty as can be
And I am like the driftwood in a deadly calm at sea
I can't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but thee
For there is no secret lover that the draft board didn't discover
They're either too young or too old
They're either too gray or too grassy green
The pickings are poor and the crop is lean
What's good is in the Army, what's left will never harm me
They're either too old or too young
So, darling, you'll never get stung
Tomorrow I'll go hiking with that Eagle Scout unless
I get a call from grandpa for a snappy game of chess
They're either too warm or too cold
They're either to fast or too fast asleep
So, darling, believe me, I'm yours to keep
They're isn't any gravy, the gravy's in the Navy
They're either too fresh or too stale
There is no available male
I will confess to one romance I'm sure you will allow
He tried to serenade me, but his voice is changing now
They're either too bald or too bold
I'm down to the wheelchair and bassinet
My heart just refuses to get upset
I simply can't compel it to, with no Marine to tell it to
I'm either their first breath of spring
Or else, I'm their last little fling
I either get a fossil or an adolescent pup
I either have to hold him off or have to hold him up
The battle is on, but the fortress will hold
They're either too young or too old
(Orchestral Break)
So, remember this, boys
She'll never, never fail ya
While you are in Australia
Or out in the Aleutians
Or off among the Rooshians
And flying over Egypt
Your heart will never be gypped
And when you get to India
She'll still be what she's been to ya
She's looked the field over
And lo and behold
They're either too young or too old
(Transcribed from the Bette Davis
recording by Mel Priddle - Nov 2007)
