THIRTEEN TONS OF ICE CREAM
(Shel Silverstein)


A ninety mile run
In the Florida sun
Can be a sticky situation
With thirteen tons of ice
cream bars
And no refrigeration.

Well, I was loaded and locked
At the Tampa docks.
Miami was my destination.
With some coffee and an upper
I'll be home in time for
supper
According to my calculation.
But those ice cream bars
In my 'frigeration car
Were too great a temptation.
So I pulled on over to the
side of the road
And had me an ice cream
celebration .

Then just outside of the
Everglades
I got a strange sensation .
What was drippin' down my nose

Soakin' my clothes
Weren't no perspiration ?
'Cuz I must've forgot
And left the hatch unlocked.
Now I came to the realization
I got thirteen tons of ice
cream bars
And no refrigeration .
'Cuz a ninety-mile run in the
Florida sun
Can be a sticky situation
With thirteen tons of ice
cream bars
And no refrigeration .

There was pralines and cream
droppin' into my lap,
And that's a source of
irritation.
And that Chunky-Monkey fillin'
up the cab.
That can disturb a fellah's
concentration.
That Cherry Jubilee
Right up to my knees
Can make a truckin' man's
ruination
With thirteen tons of ice
cream bars
And no refrigeration.

When I pull into Tampa you can
damn well bet
There'll be a big
investigation,
And under cross examination,
I'll deny all of the
allegations.
Then me and the boss we're
gonna have
One of them real short
conversations.
Then he's gonna be advisin' me

To find a brand new
occupation.
A ninety-mile run in the
Florida sun
Can be a sticky situation
With thirteen tons of ice
cream bars
And no refrigeration .

Well, I'm gonna tell him where
he can STICK
His whole screwed-up
organization
Then I'm gonna head right on
down to the Union Hall
And apply for arbitration.
Then get me some fancy legal
representation
And sue the whole God damn
truckin' corporation
And win a BIG cash
compensation
And then take a seven-month
vacation
At some tropical location
With some uh... female
stimulation
And do a little copulation
Out in the vegetation
And get a little inebriation
goin'
Ohhh . . what a sweet
sensation!
Lemme see now . . what flavor
should I have . . .
Hmm-Hmmm . . . they're all
running together
I believe this is a whole new
kinda ice cream
Heee-hee-heee.. . . . .