THREE EMPTY BARSTOOLS
(Parody to Three Wooden Crosses) 
(George Smith - © 2003)
Randy Travis


Verse 1: 
A doctor and a cowboy,
A lawyer and this plowboy,
Had dealin's with my ex-wife,
Not so long ago.

One was sellin' medication,
One was startin' litigation,
And two of us were standin'
Toe to toe.

This plowboy never, ever saw the warnin' signs...
And lawyer won't stop workin' till they've gotten every dime...

And there's...

Chorus:
Three empty barstools in the tavern at the highway,
Why there's not four of them my ex-wife only knows.
It's not what she took when she left me in the driveway,
But how she left me paying through the nose...

Verse 2: 
That doctor had a clinic with tucks and liposuction,
For making things look better,
Than nature ever planned.

And that cowboy had a ranch
Of eighty thousand acres,
With oil well spread out across the land.

And that lawyer said, "Here, sign this on the bottom line,
Then everything is settled and will work out fine..."

And there's…

Chorus:
Three empty barstools in the tavern at the highway,
Why there's not four of them my ex-wife only knows.
It's not what she took when she left me in the driveway,
But how she left me paying through the nose...

Bridge/Verse 3:
That's the story that I tell here every evenin'...
As I hold my empty beer mug up
For all the world to see.

Curse the doctor, and the lawyer, and that cowboy,
Who made off with my ex-wife,
And stuck it to me...

And there's…

Chorus:
Three empty barstools in the tavern at the highway,
Why there's not four of them my ex-wife only knows.
It's not what she took when she left me in the driveway,
But how she left me paying through the nose...