TIMBUCTOO
(Bert Kalmar / Harry Ruby)

Frank Crumit with the Paul Biese Trio - 1921
Al Bernard - 1921
Eddie Cantor - 1921
Groucho Marx - 1972


Long ago in old New Amsterdam
There lived a cousin of the Duke of Buckingham
His friends knew Buckingham to be a sport
So the cut the "ham" and called him "Buck" for short
One day Buck met a little cluck
And he whispered, "Ducky dear", in accents loud and clear
"Please marry me right here"
She replied, "I will be your bride if we act without delay"
So they were buckled up that day
Soon they had a lot of little Bucks, and oh, how fast they grew
There was one Buck, two Bucks, three Bucks, four Bucks
No one knows how many more Bucks
Mrs. Buck would play the ukulele each morn from ten till two
While old man Buck was singing
All the little Bucks were buck-and-winging
When they had eggs for breakfast Mr.Buck was out of luck
'Cause each Buck ate a dozen, and a dozen cost a buck
When the landlord tried to raise Buck's rent
He couldn't raise a sou
So he backed up a motor truck
He said "Good-bye" and he said "Good luck"
And moved his wife and all the little Bucks to Timbuctoo!

When the Bucks arrived in Timbuctoo
A Zulu chieftain by the name of Buckaroo
Was waiting with a buck-board at the pier
He said to Buck, "Pile all your Bucks in here"
Old man Buck said "I think I'll duck,
'Cause this place looks mighty queer"
The Chieftain said "Don't fear; I know you'll like it here"
Just then Buck hollered "We're in luck!"
'Cause he saw a great big sign
It read "The Buck Beer Here Is Fine"
Soon they had a lot more Bucks, and oh, how fast they grew
There were two Bucks, four Bucks, six Bucks, eight Bucks
Over-fed and under-weight Bucks
Old man Buck got on a bucking bronco and away he flew
He came back home feeling frisky
With a bucket full of buck-eyed whiskey.
All the little Bucks had never tasted chops or steaks,
'Cause Mrs. Buck fed all the Bucks on home-made buckwheat cakes
Buck grew thin but kept his height, he was over six-foot-two.
He looked just like a big giraffe
When he walked with his son it would make you laugh
'Cause the two looked like a Buck and a half
In Timbuctoo