WHEN MY STOCKS COME TUMBLING DOWN


Arthur Fields & Fred Hall - 1929





I'm the chump you've heard about
There's more like me without a doubt
When stock reports are given out
Oh, what a sucker!
My stocks come tumbling down
My stocks come tumbling down
I buy on margin, don't you see
On a great big scale, but holy gee!
And then I lose my dough-re-mi
My stocks come tumblin' down

I bought Tin Can at a dollar and a half
And Squeaky-Squawky Phonograph
At a price that would make a donkey laugh
So I stood to make a million
My stocks come tumbling down
My stocks come tumbling down
When I listened to the ticker tick
I figured I could get rich quick
But a bunch of bears were too darn slick
My stocks come tumblin' down

My bootblack boy bought Gump preferred
He told me not to say a word
The price of Gump was so absurd
So I bought a thousand shares
My stocks come tumbling down
My stocks come tumbling down
I met my broker on the floor
He said, "Go on and buy some more"
But I'm broker than I was before
My stocks come tumblin' down

(Say, say!)
(What'd'ya want?)
(What did you buy?)
(I bought Gin preferred)
(What?)
(Gin preferred, you heard me)
(So do I!)
(Laughter)
(So, you bought Gin preferred, and what happened?)
(Why, it went down the same night) 
(Laughter)
(Say, what did you buy?)
(I bought Ginger Ale straight)
(Well, why can't we put our stocks together, what about a Highball?)
(Laughter)
(But all kiddin' aside, I know one man who cleaned up on Wall Street)
(Who's that?
(The Janitor!)
(Laughter)
(Just a minute, boys, just a minute)
(Why, didn't'ya hear?)
(What's wrong?)
(Graf Zeppelin is up again)
(Laughter)
(Say, did you hear, they're runnin' a bus line from Wall Street to the 
East River? Why don't'ya take a ride on it like a lot of these other guys?)
(Go on, I haven't got enough left to pay the fare) 

My laundry man bought Subway Jam
And a hundred shares of Chowder Clam
His stock went up on Amsterdam
So he bought himself some shoestrings
His stock came tumbling down
His stock came tumbling down
He jumped right in the deep blue sea
I was scared as I could be
I looked to see if that guy was me
His stocks came tumblin' down

The iceman gave me a tip on coal
He told me not to tell a soul
He said that coal was down the hole
I thought that was a hot one
That stock came tumbling down
That stock came tumbling down
There's one thing that I won't forget
That stock was watered, you can bet
And now I know that stock's all wet
My stock's come tumblin' down






(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - December 2014)