WHY CAN'T SHE LOWER THE ALIMONY?
(Mike Corda)


Mickey Rooney




(So, you say you're havin' trouble, ah, payin' your Wife?)

Trouble? I'm goin' crazy! Listen, I don't know why she won't listen, but she, she just won't. There' ssomethin' I wanna know. Listen to me, pal. You can answer, maybe...... 

Oh, why can't she lower the alimony? Huh? 
Why can't she give me a break? Ah, why? 
She drives a Lincoln.......I ride the bus
She wears lingerie from Neiman's.......I wear a truss

I eat a sandwich of cheese and baloney, ah
Well, she dines on lobster with steak, hah-hah, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
I tell ya, she's in cahoots with the IRS
Each payday, my friend, I'm in another fine mess

Ooh, why can't she lower the alimony?
Tell ya, I'm payin', I'm payin' her more than I make

Let me tell you this. Out in California they got the right rules out there. Ev'rything is fifty-fifty. They divide ev'rything, all the property, ev'rything. Fifty-fifty. A woman gets the inside of the house. The man gets the outside. Uh-hah. 

Someone asked me the other day, they said, "Howard, Howard how short are you?" I said, "Since Eleanor divorced me, about a hundred and eighty-five thousand!" Hah" You know what alimony is, friends? It's like pumpin' gas in another guy's car......

I eat a sandwich of cheese and baloney, I'm turnin' into it
She dines on lobster and steak, hah-hah, ooh! I tell ya, I'm gettin' gas
She's in cahoots with the IRS, I know it, I smell it
Each payday I'm in another fine mess

Ooh, why can't she lower the alimony?
I'm payin' more than I make
Why can't she give me a break?

Honey, let's not do anything. Ah, it's like talkin' to a stone wall!



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - February 2009)