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WILD BILL HICCUP (Brandt / Morgan) Spike Jones & His City Slickers - 1949 (Featuring the character voices of Wild Bill Hiccup, Poison Pete, Indian, Gopher Annie) SINGERS: Here is a western we saw last night Full of action and dynamite We thrilled and nearly stood on our head From the moment the hero walked in and said BILL: I'm Wild Bill Hiccup and I'm brave and strong I been ridin' the range for six months long I been ridin' the range a-roundin' up cattle I got so many blisters, I'm tall in the saddle PETE: I am a villain, I'm mean as can be I hate the hero 'cause he sings off-key I'm an ornery cuss and I'm so full o' lead When a rattlesnakes bites me, he drops down dead Why, chewing on bullets is my daily routine (Spitoon Sound) See what I mean? INDIAN: Ugh, me indian, nice and tanned Uuh, me also businessman We're taking scalps to make a penny Sell them to man named Jack Benny SINGERS: Our story takes place in a lawless town They'd called on Hiccup to tame things down He has just arived and who should he meet But a no-good outlaw Poison Pete BILL: Pete, I hear you've been a-rustling again PETE: And I blew up the bank and I shot twenty men I held up the stagecoach, and robbed the mail car BILL: One of these days you're gonna go too far BILL: So you think that you're a pretty good fighter PETE: You should have seen what I did to Pink Rider BILL: You mean Red Rider? PETE: No, he changed his name He got faded last week in a big crap game PETE: I think you're a coward through and through I'm gonna tell the whole town what I think of you (Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!) So there! BILL: Shootin' off your mouth won't get you anywhere BILL: You better leave town if you wanna live Or I'll fill you full with holes till you look like a sieve My old six-shooter is a-achin' to spout PETE: You better cover up the muzzle, the candy's falling out SINGERS: Now the mood of our story changes fast Hiccup is back on his ranch at last BILL: Well, here I am, I better get dressed I've got a heavy date, I wanna look my best I'll take a quick shower and smell like a flower (Quick Shower Noise) That was a mighty quick shower BILL: Who's a-knockin' at my door ANNIE: It's Gopher Annie, the girl you adore BILL: Gopher Gal, you've changed somehow ANNIE: Do I look like a cowgirl? BILL: No, like a cow ANNIE: Bill, do you like the perfume in my hair BILL: Is that the perfume you always wear? ANNIE: No, this is stronger, it's more alive BILL: What do you call it? ANNIE: Corral number five BILL: Gal, I can see you've been ridin' ANNIE Of course, and I had to put the blindfold on the horse BILL: Blindfold a horse, you're crazy in the head ANNIE: If he sees what he's carrying, I'm afraid he'll drop dead BILL: Gal, I loves ya, deep down inside And I've been needin' a wife since old Kate died ANNIE: What, stop just staring, why don't you propose? BILL: I can't find a ring the size of your nose BILL: Anyway I've got to find Poison Pete I think he's hidin' at Girdle Creek ANNIE: Girdle Creek, there must be a catch Is it far from here? BILL: It's quite a stretch BILL: Well, here we are, it's the end of the ride Pete and his gang are waitin' inside Now here's my plan, be as quiet as a mouse I'll sneak in, and you surround the house ANNIE: Here's your gun PETE: I don't need a gun I'm gonna throw that gang out, one by one ANNIE: I hope you know what you're talking about PETE: You just count 'em as I throw 'em out ANNIE: One! PETE: Stop counting, that's me! (Contributed by - November 2008)


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