WOMEN DRIVERS
(Weldon Rogers)


Weldon Rogers & Wanda Wolfe - 1956


Now, if you're a fellah with a lot of luck
Don't ever trust that gift too fer
You never know when fate's gonna have his day

You never know around which bend
Fate's gonna raise his ugly head
Then like a flash, your luck's done gone and went

I been a-sittin' here in my easy chair
Just thinkin' about the past
Thinkin' about how lucky I've always been
Where others didn't last

For in this world of discontent
There's a danger we must reveal
It's twice as bad as an A-bomb blast
It's a woman with an automobile

Sometimes I sit and wonder why
Dadgum womans got to drive
When they know this shaky world can't stand the strain

My Wife, she drives, but goes alone
I keep the kids and stay at home
And to punish them, I use the razor strap

Never trust a woman driver
You'll be crazy if you do
Never trust a woman driver
They'll kill or scare the daylights out of you

Like the other morning, I started to work
Just as happy as I could be
When a nice ?????? passed on my right
And, man, you talk about speed

I saw the driver was a woman
Kinda gritted my teeth and swore
As she crossed over the centre line
Sideswiped a brand new Ford

I caught a glimpse of the victim
And his face was broad with a smile
Why, he wasn't mad at anyone
Just happy to be alive

So, I kinda gassed my Cadillac
To keep her car in sight
She signalled for a left-hand turn
But whipped it to the right

A real old man knelt down to pray
A young girl screamed with fright
The paper boy with coal black hair
It turned a snowy white

About that time a whistle blew
And a cop came on the run
She stopped dead still in the middle of the street
And said, "What've I done?"

So, in this land of daffodils
Where neon shines so bright
To save your hide, take my advice
Don't let that woman drive

And when life's race is over
And you head for the pearly gates
Take my advice, men you drive
Or take the Super Jeep

Never trust a woman driver
You'll be crazy if you do
Never trust a woman driver
She'll speed your trip to Heaven if you do



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - February 2017)