Oh once I courted a pretty girl and I courted her right well,
Her name was Kitty Marrigga-Maria and mine was Bobby Wells,
One night when I was courting her when her father was at home,
He says"If I catch you here again I'll tickle your bottom."
With my wop-she-ad-it I tell you she had it,
Oh wop she-ad-it-i-o,
Wop she-ad-it I tell you she had it,
Oh Kit and me we did agree a ladder for to bring,
I put it under the window and by gum it was just the thing,
We laughed and chattered and chattered and laughed 'til all at once by gum,
My foot slipped through the ladder and I fell and cut my bottom.
They took me home in a wheelbarrow they, wheeled me home with care,
And when I got to the farmyard gate oh didn't the old folks stare,
My brother Jim came running out and he said to me "By gum."
"I've been a courting Kate," says I "and I fell and cut my bottom."
They took me to the doctors and there I showed my case,
And didn't they do a grin when I showed them my Sunday face,
They thought I was making a fool of them but a fool of them by gum,
I thought they was making a fool of me when they turpentined my bum.
So Kit and me we did agree for to get wed,
She made me a sling to put my bum in and through it I cocked my leg,
As we go walking down the street the kids all shout By Gum,
Here comes the man with his bum in a sling who fell and cut his bottom.