HO, HO, HO, AND A BOTTLE OF RHUM 
(Jimmy Buffett / Roger Guth / Pete Mayer / Russ Kunkel)
Jimmy Buffet - 1996

 
Santa's stressed out as the holiday season draws near 
He's been doing the same job now going on two thousand
years 
He's got pains in his brain and chimney scars cover
his buns 
He hates to admit it, but Xmas is more work than fun 

He needs a vacation from bad decorations and snow 
Mr. Claus has a has escape plans, a secret that only
he knows 
Beaches and palm trees appear night and day in his
dreams 
A break from his wife, half-frozen in life 
The elves and that damn reindeer team 

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum 
Santa's run off to the Caribbean 
He thinks about boat drinks and fun in the sun 
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum 

Plastic creations and crass exploitations aren't good 
He wants to go back to simple toys made out of wood 
Just for the weekend he's like to be Peter Pan 
Get out of his long johns and dance with a sword in
the sand 

(Chorus) 
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum 
Snata's off to the Caribbean 
Marimbas, calimbas, he's playing steel drums 
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum 

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rhum 
Santa's off to the Caribbean 
A week in the tropics and he'll be alright 
Sporting a tan as he rides out of sight 

Merry Christmas to all and to all good night