'T WAS THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS
'T Was the night after Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable litttle brats, ungrateful litttle jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works !
I've busted my ass for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I worked late last night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer did fight
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner's now pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of you yo yo's--No request for them! ,
They want computers and robots..they think--I'm IBM !
Flying throught the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimney's and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I"ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas next year, now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde and I'm going SOUTH for next season."
(Contributed by Cooks - December 2003)