YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP ON SHOWING IT
(Sealey / Sealey)

as recorded by Harry Champion
1910


Now to talk about your wife, I know it is a sin,
I don't mind tellin' you me wife drinks gin.
Coloured her nose and it looks such a fright,
In the dark you would take it for a moonlight night!
One night she had a little too much,
So I toddled home to bed.
She blew out the light
But her nose shone bright,
So to Mary Jane I said -

"You don't want to keep on showin' it, Mary,
You don't want to keep on showin' it!"
So under the clothes she poked her nose,
In the dark I commenced to doze.
Oh, what a fright
In the middle of the night
When she started blowing it;
It blew me out of bed,
So again I said,
"You don't want to keep on showin' it!"

One day I took her out to Barnet Fair,
My word, didn't all the people stare!
Spotted her nose, they laughed and said,
"Gov'nor, did you pick it from a strawberry bed?"
Big wooden ball from a coconut stall
At Mary's nose was shied;
They took the old girl for an old Aunt Sal,
So again to her I cried -

"You don't want to keep on showin' it, Mary,
You don't want to keep on showin' it!"
So I bunged her up for a donkey ride,
Donkey spotted her nose and shied!
Fell upon her head;
When a policeman said ,
"Love me, ain't you goin' it!
You'd better get yer clothes
For to cover up your nose,
'Cos you don't want to keep on showin' it!"

Now walkin' down a lane on a very dark night,
Poor Mary's nose was shining bright.
Man with a gun was passing by,
Shot Mary's nose for a big fire-fly!
Bolted again for the railway train,
When the guard popped out his head,
Shouting, "Danger on the line!",
I said "Not this time!",
So again to her I said -

"You don't want to keep on showin' it, Mary,
You don't want to keep on showin' it!"
She hid it again in the railway train,
Away from the girls, they were havin' a game.
Oh, what a lark in the tunnel in the dark,
We were not long in knowin' it.
For they all began to shout,
"Put it out! Put it out!,
You don't want to keep on showin' it!"

A week or two ago, now what do you suppose?
I got over trouble over Mary's nose!
The man and the woman that live next door,
In the middle of the night caused a big uproar!
They said Mary's nose had been and burnt a hole
Through the wall into their bed,
Shouting, "Fire!" with all their might
In the middle if the night,
So again to her I said -

"You don't want to keep on showin' it, Mary,
You don't want to keep on showin' it!"
The fireman rushed in the room with his 'ose,
Started pointing it on Mary's nose.
She began to scream,
Her nose began to steam,
It'd boil all the water you could throw on it!
And the fireman said,
"It's blisterin' me leg!
And so you don't want to keep on showin' it!"




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - April 2018)